In general, I think it is easy for people to fear the unknown, and what we do at Dolphin Dance is relatively “unknown.” The initial backlash came when someone viewed a video demo-ing a part of a “striptease” routine that we offer around Christmas time. My first response was to send an email (italicized below) to the residents of the development housing the studio. I generally attempted to explain what Dolphin Dance really is about, and invited anyone concerned to come check us out. Only two ladies showed up to the demo that we scheduled specifically to address these concerns, and of those two, one was there specifically to support the studio!
My name is Emily Boberg Courts, and I would like to address the concern that has been raised about the Dolphin Dance studio, largely based on a video that previously appeared on our website. The video represented a "Santa Baby striptease." Because of the term "striptease," YouTube flagged it as being 18+. While this video represents a dance that is taught annually in Ohio, it has not yet been taught in Washington. Additionally, it is not representative of our standard pole or exotic dance classes. It is offered around Christmas in response to student requests, and is a fun, cheeky routine that many of our Ohio students like to do for their husbands.
Further, although it is called a "striptease," neither the instructors nor the students are ever nude or semi-nude in the studio. To give some background on the studio itself, Dolphin Dance was created by Kristen Titko in central Ohio in 2005 with the intention of offering classes for self-esteem through exotic dance. Central Ohio is a very conservative area, and yet it took only a short time for the people there to understand that this business is not about strippers, gentleman's clubs, bars, or anything of the sort. After taking classes with Kristen for several years and personally receiving the benefits of increased strength and self-esteem, I decided to open a studio when I moved to Washington. Our classes do not fit the term "adult entertainment" as defined in Chapter 5.06 of the Poulsbo Municipal Code (hereinafter referred to as "the Code").
We do not promote or condone behavior that is inconsistent with the idea that every woman deserves the right to love and appreciate herself and her body. We do offer classes that are for the sole purpose of a woman learning how to be sexy, for her self esteem, or in her own home with her partner. As such, it offers a much- needed self-esteem boost to women who are bombarded daily with the twisted Hollywood idea of what beauty is. Learning how to be sexy in a relationship does not in any way equal promiscuity or lewdness, nor does it meet the Code's prohibited "exhibition, performance, or dance is distinguished or characterized by a predominant emphasis on matters depicting, describing, or simulating any specified sexual activities or any specified anatomical areas.”
Pole dance has become the most popular women's fitness trend of the past several years. It is recognized worldwide, and is even up for contention as an Olympic sport. It is a fantastic way to get in shape! Dolphin Dance does not stress only the physical benefit of this because to the creator and instructors, the emotional benefits are even more valuable. I can also assure you that the clientele our business brings to your neighborhood will look no different than women coming and going from a yoga class. I invite anyone who is concerned, or even curious, to attend a special demonstration of our introductory pole course. I think that you will be surprised to see the strength training involved.
The primary person who was leading the charge against the studio said to me via email, “You are operating an adult only studio and what you teach is found in beer halls and strip joints. There is no other way to say that it is tacky and cheap and it degrades women. I do not want families in the Poulsbo Place II development to be faced with explaining this to their children. We are a family friendly community and we do plan on staying this way. So please take your studio elsewhere—and know that I will be doing everything I can to encourage you to move elsewhere such as in Bremerton.”
For anyone who has walked through Dolphin Dance’s doors, it is clear that this Jane Doe was not only ignorant as to what actually happens at Dolphin Dance, but also demonstrated a gross form of classism in suggesting that we “move elsewhere such as in Bremerton,” as though Bremerton, which is home to many military and other families, were somehow less “family friendly” and lower class than Poulsbo. But I don’t condemn her for her ignorance. She hasn’t seen the power of Dolphin Dance at work–the mother who cried during her first six-week session and shared with the class, “This is the first time that I’ve felt like a woman since I had my baby.” The student in her early 50’s who told me, in week four of her classes, “I recently got divorced and haven’t had my period in two years, so I haven’t felt like a woman in a long time. Last week, I asked out a man. I don’t know if you believe in emotions and the body being connected, but I had my first period in two years last week.” The student who told me, after several months of classes, “This is the first time that I’ve felt like my legs are beautiful.”
To be fair, exotic and pole dance does have a history and a present in clubs where women take off their clothes for money. However, the Dolphin Dance style is much more intimate and woman-centric than most “strip club” styles. That said, I don’t think that negatively judging women who choose to be strippers or exotic dancers is very feminist–it negates the societal conditions that lead women to become so, it takes away the concept of women as moral agents and owners of their own bodies, and it disregards the differences in feminine sexuality, of which exhibitionism itself is a valid expression. I think that we are better served by being honest and accepting of the history of exotic and pole dance, rather than pretending that we are somehow “better” than strippers because we have the option to share our dance only with audiences that we choose.
Fortunately, the majority of the residents of Poulsbo (and Kitsap County at large) have been fabulous and welcoming to Dolphin Dance. During my first month open, as I was heading to my car after class, two ladies crossed the street to tell me that they were so glad to have us in the neighborhood and to ignore the nay-sayers. I also had the opportunity to meet with then-Mayor Quade, who told me that she did not object to the business and that I was clearly operating within the limits of the City Code. Another big support that we received unexpectedly was when the male Director of the Martha and Mary Center (which provides childcare) responded to the newspaper when questioned that he saw no problem with a business bringing more women to the neighborhood, and that it wasn’t logical that such would be a danger to the children.
How have you taken strides to prove uninformed and misinformed individuals wrong? Why is pole-dance an empowering endeavor for women and do you strive to break the stereotypes and stigmas surrounding the art form?
Generally, I don’t find it to be my battle to educate the world on what it is that we do. People who see it will “get it,” and those who choose to remain blind to it are exercising their freedom to do so. During our initial opening, I did provide an opportunity for people with questions to experience it firsthand, of which those who had expressed a problem with it opted to not come learn more about it. C’est la vie.
On my website, I highlight how our studio empowers women:
At Dolphin Dance, we believe that: “Every Woman Deserves to Feel Sexy, because Sexy is a State of Mind!”* Through the art of exotic and pole dance, we encourage women to…
• Embrace the beauty within themselves
• Shed their fears
• Make and attain goals
• Learn trust in a safe space
• Acknowledge and honor their strength
• Build positive relationships with other women
• Build a positive relationship with themselves
*Kristen Titko, creator of Dolphin Dance
I have a Master’s Degree in Accounting and Financial Management, and worked in accounting for 10 years. As a professional, I want to be viewed by my colleagues as a competent accountant. As a runner, I want to be viewed by fellow runners as an athlete. But as a wife, I want to be viewed by my husband as sexy (among other things). Feminism allows for women to be whole beings, which includes our sexuality and the desire to be and feel sexy in spaces and places that are safe for us. Dolphin Dance is this sort of safe place.
I would say that I attempt to break stereotypes and stigmas by pointing out the flaw in stigmatizing pole dancing or its history at all. By being brave enough to say that, yes, I DO pole dance because it makes me feel sexy, and not apologizing for the desire to feel that way. All dance is a great workout, as is running, lifting weights, etc. I think it is disingenuous for most pole dancers to pretend that feeling sexy isn’t a part of why they do it. But I definitely understand the fear in owning that, and when I was a new student would also try to explain away peoples’ looks of disapproval with an, “Oh, don’t worry–it’s not sexy when I do it! It’s just a great workout!” It took me learning to love myself enough, and to trust the rightness of my own judgment and desires enough to say what I really felt. And isn’t that a major part of being a feminist?
How have women responded to this sport? Have you seen them transform and evolve into more confident individuals?
I’ve seen varied responses from women to what we do. Outside of the studio, responses when people hear that I am a pole dancer range from, “Oh, wow! I’ve always wanted to try that!” to, “I’ve heard that’s a great workout!” to the eye-rolling, “Mm-hmm.” I chalk the last response up to ignorance of what we do, fear of trying something oneself, or even jealousy that someone else is brave enough to do it.
In the studio, most women love what we do and it changes their lives in many ways, and not just limited to their bodies or bedrooms. I’ve seen women come out of their shell, heard of successes related to their newfound confidence, and even just seen them become happier overall. One student said that she is finally becoming the woman she always dreamed of being, and that Dolphin Dance has been a major part of that. Wow!!!
Others find that what we do isn’t necessarily what they expected–big advertising bucks tout pole dancing as a sport (even pushing for its inclusion in the Olympics), but at Dolphin Dance we look at it instead as an art and dance form. One of my favorite quotes is from Shanna LaFleur, who said, “It takes an athlete to dance, but an artist to be a dancer.” Women coming to Dolphin Dance expecting it to be some sort of boot camp where we make you sweat and shed pounds for an hour and a half may be disappointed (or pleasantly surprised) to find that, instead, we work as much on grace and fluidity as we do on conditioning, and that rather than forcing you to lose 20 pounds we encourage you to look in the mirror and see that you are beautiful exactly as you are, and exactly as you become.
What does it mean to be a fashionable feminist in your field?
To be honest, I’m not quite sure what it means to be a ‘fashionable feminist’! I’ve been a feminist for many years, but rarely termed ‘fashionable’. As a feminist, at the end of the day, what I do at Dolphin Dance is for the women who walk through its doors—helping them learn to love themselves or expand their love for themselves. I suppose the fashionable part would be almost ‘fashion-forward’–bucking the system and being a bit ahead of my time in how we approach exotic and pole dance as a feminist form of expression.
What are five fabulous things about being you? What are you most thankful for in life?
I have to limit this to five fabulous things? Ha ha. Before Dolphin Dance, I didn’t know that it was okay to compliment yourself, and that there is a difference between self-confidence (feeling that you are awesome) and arrogance (feeling that you are better than others).
Okay, five fabulous things about being me:
• I am brave and strong
• I love myself (and in the words of RuPaul, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?!”)
• I am smart
• I am sexy
• I am a great dancer
I would have to say that what I am most thankful for in life is the opportunity to live it to its fullest.
